Is it me or is something missing on the skankwoman in this pic? i mean, maybe she doesn't have any, you know what i mean? Which would support my theory that she's really a robot. A dim-witted, bubble headed robot who can't sing.

Posted by: annika at 07:29 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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One night last month during the holidays, while i visited my mom and dad, we all watched The Tonight Show. As he often does, my dad started comparing Leno to Johnny Carson.

“Boy, I sure miss Carson,” he said.

“Me too,” mom added. “He was the best. Jay Leno just doesn’t compare.”

Dad turned to me. “Sissy, you’re too young to remember Carson, but there was a time when people used to stay up every night just to watch his monologue,” he said.

“i do so remember Carson.”

Mom rolled her eyes. “No she doesn’t.”

“Yah mom, i do,” i retorted. “He had white hair. He wasn’t very funny. i like Leno better.”

Dad was appalled. “Wasn’t funny? C’mon! Let me tell you something little girl, Carson was great even when he wasn’t funny.”

“Yes. Everybody knew his monologues weren’t funny. It didn’t matter. We just loved to watch him,” mom said. “He was like a good friend.”

i had no idea my parents felt so strongly about the old man.

Mom continued. “I remember during the writers’ strike when Johnny had to write his own jokes. He was very funny then.”

“Oh yes, he was,” dad nodded. “Very funny.”

“But let me tell you,” my dad leaned forward, a serious look flashing across his face, “there were three times when Carson was so good that you made sure you stayed up to watch him.”

“When was that?” i asked.

“Whenever Don Rickles, Buddy Hackett or Pete Fountain were guests.”

“Pete Fountain?” i laughed.

“Yes, you know Pete Fountain. Played clarinet. Died a few years ago.”

“You and your Pete Fountain, dear,” mom chuckled.

i grew up listening to Pete Fountain records. My dad worshipped the guy.

“Of course,” dad said. “Rickles, Hackett and Pete Fountain. You didn’t miss Carson when any of those guys were on.” My dad’s face became wistful. “You know, you can’t say that about any talk show these days. There’s nobody today that compares. Nobody that makes you say, ‘hey I gotta stay up and watch tonight.’”

i tried to think of a guest who might compel me to watch Leno, or Letterman, in the way my dad used to stay up to watch Carson and Rickles, et al., but i drew a blank.

Until today, when Lileks guest hosted on HewittÂ’s show.

Maybe it’s not the same thing, ‘cause it’s radio, but lemme tell you, when i hear that Lileks is going to be on the Hugh Hewitt show, i make darn sure i tune in that day. Lileks is as awesome on the radio as he is in print. When Lileks was cracking on "nude Hugh" with his bald head and hairy back running from the police, i was dying. That was funny stuff. He may not play the clarinet, but i'd stack James Lileks up against Buddy Hackett any day.

Update: Brad at Infinite Monkeys writes about his call in to the show, which i heard.

Posted by: annika at 06:22 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Strangely, i've been somewhat productive today. Even after putzing around on the internet all morning and taking a super long lunch. But i don't feel like i've done anything, and i can't wait to get out of here. i'm such a total clock-watcher.

i don't know why i feel so lethargic. Maybe it's that i'm just coming off the flu. Maybe it's that i think i should really be in Hawaii right now, lazily floating on my back in the water of Kaneohe Bay. Paddling just enough to keep the tropical sun on my face. Looking out at that cute little island called Fisherman's Hat. Vaguely paranoid about the jellyfish and stingrays. Looking forward to some roast Kailua pig or maybe just a bowl of Zippy's chili rice. Playing ultimate frisbee with the friendly locals at the park, or dancing at one of them touristy dives in Waikiki. A Mai Tai or a Blue Hawaii in my hand. Going shopping at the Ala Moana in a bikini top and shorts. Eating fresh pineapple and mango and lychee and mountain apples. Seeing two or three rainbows every day. etc. etc.

. . .

Fuck, i'm still here.

Posted by: annika at 04:14 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 Shit - you said the F* word! (thank you)

Posted by: d-rod at January 28, 2004 04:34 PM (CSRmO)

2 Good gravy, is Ala Moana still there? Stay away from Waikiki--hook up with someone in the military and hit the beach at Hickam Field. We used to go there every Sunday when I was a kid, although every now and then the beach would be covered w/ Portuguese Men o' War, which sucked. But we were kids...we could have fun doing anything...

Posted by: Victor at January 29, 2004 05:26 AM (L3qPK)

3 Hey, am I a Portuguese Man o' War? I don't know about Hickam Field and wasn't in the military, but Kaua'i is nice and peaceful. Pineapples, mangos, rainbows, waterfalls, white sand and bikinis... yummy. About 1000 miles due south of Hawaii are the Cook Islands which are gorgeous except that you really have to be careful to not step on stone fish.

Posted by: d-rod at January 29, 2004 07:38 AM (bHz2Q)

4 Regarding work: it's too bad you can't do something I like to do up here at UC Davis: "partial attendance".

Posted by: Chris at January 29, 2004 02:03 PM (uMU3+)

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Thanks to Roxette i found this fantastic poetry blog called Ivy Is Here. i pretend to talk a little about poetry, but Ivy is the real deal. i am gratified to see that she is currently number one in this week's NWS voting. Ivy gets my vote and many future return visits.

Posted by: annika at 02:06 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Danger. annika is now hooked up at work. i finally figured out my login and MT is in effect. i can feel my productivity plummet as i type this. : )

Posted by: annika at 09:01 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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For a spicy theatrical experience, come to Chile!

Update: Newman links to another Chile related story:

Men and women, most of them in their 20s, poured onto a cordoned-off street in central Santiago, ChileÂ’s capital, to smooch for at least 10 seconds in a bid to set a world record for the largest number of people kissing simultaneously.

. . .

With more than 4,400 kissing couples, the Chileans easily eclipsed the current Guinness World Records mark set in February 2000 in Sarnia, Ontario, Canada, when 1,588 pairs locked lips.

Chile, one of Latin AmericaÂ’s most socially conservative nations, began showing a more exhibitionist bent last year when over 3,000 people turned up on the same street to be photographed naked on a cold winter morning.

Posted by: annika at 12:20 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Hey Kerry? Why the long face?

Posted by: annika at 09:25 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Comic, and big fat idiot, Al Francken took down a heckler at a Dean rally yesterday.

'I got down low and took his legs out,' said Franken afterwards.

Wise-cracking funnyman Al Franken yesterday body-slammed a demonstrator to the ground after the man tried to shout down Gov. Howard Dean.

'I'm neutral in this race but I'm for freedom of speech, which means people should be able to assemble and speak without being shouted down.'

Posted by: annika at 09:22 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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When i was away i still checked my e-mails on my cell phone. i noticed that i was getting emails with "hi " in the subject line. When i opened them, there was no message. After deleting, the same e-mail would reappear in about five minutes. After the first time, i just deleted without opening it. Eventually they stopped.

Now, i think it was that new e-mail worm, which tries to trick users into opening it by using an innocuous subject line. Luckily, since i was using my cell-phone, there was no way for the worm to infect anything.

Anyway, now i routinely delete e-mails with suspiciously non-specific subject lines without opening them. i've also told people that if they want to e-mail me, it's best to use my name in the subject line, since the bots don't know my name. Hopefully that will help.

Posted by: annika at 09:20 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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A Reflection Upon the Modern Style

Poetry that doesn't rhyme
Is laziness, a waste of time,
A blight upon the landscape that
Would be outlawed if I were King.

And poems that do not scan are worse;
How can they be described as verse?
They have no soul; their tone is flat;
They do not make one cry or sing.

This modern stuff I cannot stand.
It must be banished from the land,
While I lay out the welcome mat
For poetry with rhymes that ring

Down through these hallowed, ancient halls
And far on out beyond these walls,
To man and woman, dog and cat...
I'm out of words that end in ing.

Posted by: annika at 03:36 AM | Comments (18) | Add Comment
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1 Okay team, you know the drill.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at January 16, 2004 03:41 AM (kOqZ6)

2 Yay!!! Welcome to our world!

Posted by: The Bartender at January 16, 2004 04:12 AM (DXeaE)

3 Let me be the second to say: Yay! Welcome to Munu. Taking over the World since 2003.

Posted by: Simon at January 16, 2004 05:02 AM (FUPxT)

4 WOO HOO!!! I was gonna bring a cake but I, y'know... left it at the store. And I love the poem! A friend of mine once told me: "Hey, you should re-write your song lyrics so that they don't rhyme and then publish them as poems!" I smacked him good. And I just came up with an alternate ending for yers: Down through these hallowed, ancient halls And far on out beyond these walls, The hardest rule to learn is that a poem is not an endless thing. Eh. At least it rhymes...

Posted by: Tuning Spork at January 16, 2004 05:27 AM (msrFi)

5 Yay!!!!!!! (and, finally!)

Posted by: Susie at January 16, 2004 05:33 AM (0+cMc)

6 Maybe I should tell Annika.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at January 16, 2004 06:52 AM (kOqZ6)

7 Yay! Dang, I was supposed to be second--I helped recruit her!

Posted by: Victor at January 16, 2004 01:16 PM (L3qPK)

8 Yay! I've sent Annika an email to let her know she has a blog here.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at January 16, 2004 01:48 PM (jtW2s)

9 Wow, i'm going to cry. Thanks everybody. i'm really excited about being a Munuvian. i won't be able to start posting here until the 24th, but that poem will be a nice placeholder for me. Did you write it, Pixy? i love it.

Posted by: annika at January 16, 2004 11:45 PM (zAOEU)

10 Welcome, Annika! hln

Posted by: hln at January 17, 2004 10:12 AM (CWwGn)

11 Good to see ya girl!

Posted by: Cherry at January 19, 2004 01:03 PM (i7dMY)

12 Yay! Annika! Now make one of these goons show ya how to import all your blogger posts into MT. Glad ya finally made the break!

Posted by: Tiger at January 19, 2004 07:36 PM (hvvCY)

13 Yay!

Posted by: LeeAnn at January 20, 2004 08:42 AM (HxCeX)

14 A very belated Yay!

Posted by: Ted at January 20, 2004 10:54 AM (blNMI)

15 Yay! I'm no longer the new guy!

Posted by: StMack at January 22, 2004 11:27 AM (UquFN)

16 thank christ, an RSS feed.

Posted by: glenn at January 22, 2004 11:30 AM (1oqLe)

17 OK, so get back already!

Posted by: Tiger at January 26, 2004 03:45 PM (qWgy0)

18 Heh. It's quiet in here. Too quiet.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at January 26, 2004 09:21 PM (kOqZ6)

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